[Cara Reynolds – SUM180 Community Manager]

Reading Cordi Powell’s latest blog post has me reflecting on how heavily our financial choices and attitudes are influenced by our upbringing – especially by our parents. For good or bad, our parents often pass on to us their values and habits with regard to money. Even when we choose to adopt behavior contrary to our parents’, it’s still a reaction (and sometimes, an overreaction.)

As Daniel Ally put it in Entrepreneur, “Almost every material possession that you buy tends to go through the “parent’s approval” process. Most people do not purchase certain goods and services simply because they know their parents would never approve of it. However, this way of thinking can often become detrimental if it stops you from learning the truth about money.” He shared a recent personal example of shopping for a laptop and hearing his father’s voice in his head: “Son, don’t get the warranty. It’s a waste of money since you won’t need it. They’re just trying to up-sell you.” Daniel didn’t get the warranty, of course, because – like many of us – he believed his father’s voice.

There’s nothing unusual or wrong about wanting to please one’s parents. But it’s worth examining the attitudes about money that we learned from them as children. Now that we’re adults, we can be critical and thoughtful about what they taught us, and weigh their wisdom against our own experience and information. This step lets us take full responsibility for our own choices – and changing our own money habits when necessary.

What are some money attitudes parents teach (sometimes unconsciously) – and how can they affect you adversely if you don’t dismantle them? Here are three that I know all too well, from personal experience:

“Play it safe.” This attitude can translate, for example, into a one-size fits all attitude towards immediately getting a college degree and finding a job after graduating from high school. A fine path for many, but not necessarily best for everyone. Taking a year or two to work or travel before heading to college can help young people zero in on rewarding passions that they wouldn’t discover otherwise. Exploring new opportunities always means assuming a certain amount of risk.

Spending as therapy: “You’re worth it.” Dealing with stress via retail therapy is only effective in the very short term. Once the euphoria from your latest purchase passes, you’re left with a thinner bank account and more stuff that you probably don’t need but now have to store in your home…in addition to the original problem that, most likely, hasn’t gone anywhere and still needs to be addressed. What if the idea that “I’m worth it” translated instead into, “You’re worth socking away that $300 to put towards a down payment on a house”? I deserve to feel secure financially, in the long term. And a sense of financial security goes a long way towards cancelling out day to day stress!

Certain expenses are non-negotiable and don’t really “count,” budget-wise. In my family, dining out together every Sunday was a sacred ritual and even when money was tight, off to a favorite restaurant we went. My parents went so far as to say, “We’ll skimp on everything else but food.” To this day, I tend to bracket food mentally, as if it lives in a separate category that has no impact on my household budget. It’s a little like telling yourself food you eat on vacation has no calories. If I dismantled this attitude, I could probably save a good chunk on my grocery and restaurant bills.

What about you? Did you learn money habits or attitudes from your parents – and have they helped or hurt you in the long run?

[Robin Downes]

One of the biggest things that stick out in my mind is that while growing up my parents always spoke about “when we retire”. My Mom retired at 55 and passed away at 60. When my Mom passed away I was 38 years old and have been making a point to enjoy life NOW! I still keep an eye on the fact that I probably will live past 60, however, I create budgets that allow me to enjoy the journey NOW.

[Lisa Martin]

This is so true! We too try to life to the fullest! We’ve making a point to a take a vacation with the kids every year be it big or small. You cant replace those memories.